Fix Yourself Girl-You Got A Camel Toe

Okay, ladies. We need to address an important topic.

The camel toe.

(I'd like to go on record and let you know this is NOT my camel toe. Because if that were me, my nails would be painted. You know that.) Thank you, Google images for this particular C.T.

How did I go from hosting a Holiday Gift Guide to making you look at bad cases of the dreaded C.T.?
Mr. Boobies is to blame.

Last night before bed, I came through the kitchen in my bra and panties (Because I'm cool like that.) Mr. Boobies gets really bent out of shape over it. I think that's why I'm notorious for doing it. A therapist could probably chalk this up to my need to be in control in some kind of passive/aggressive way. Anyway, Mr. B is always all "The creeper that lives behind us will see you through the back door." I say if that man has that good of eyesight, he deserves whatever he accidentally catches a peek of.

Back to my lack of clothing in the kitchen. Mr. B was staring me down. I tossed my hair back and kept my stomach muscles tight. (Ladies, you know that trick. Suck it in and hold it...hold it...hold it.) I was wondering how long he would check out my bod. While I know it IS a wonderland, how long does he need to gawk?

Then he did it. He started laughing. Men-pro tip #168: NEVER, EVER-laugh while your girl is naked or near naked. EVER.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked as I giggled just enough to cover my self conscious. I started looking at everything. Nipples were both in the bra, no homemade tatts from The Boss, my stomach was nice and flat. What the hell is he laughing at?

"You have camel toe." He began pointing. Like I don't know where my camel is. Sure enough. I was plagued. By  no means was I Mariah bad:

Nor would I say I had Brit C.T.:

I was more like this:

(FYI, I have no idea whose C.T.. this is. If it's yours, thank you. I think we have matching vaginas. Ask Mr. B. He was sure I posted a picture of my own cha-cha for my Boobie Chasers. That's how spot on this pic is.)

The obvious lesson here is to not wear red unitards. No matter what.

But it made me wonder. (That's always a scary thing.) Is this an issue for all women? You rarely see gymnasts with a frontal wedgie. Do they have some sort of masking tape secret they use?

I took to Google (aka The Bible) to figure out the mystery of the dreaded moose knuckle. I read that only women who have given birth vaginally obtain this curse. WRONG. All of my babies were born via c-section.

Then I read that only women of loose moral character have this. Mmmm Hmmm. And you can get pregnant from your local swimming pool, too. Clearly, WRONG.

Finally, I deducted it is more than likely hereditary. I called my Mom to confirm, but she was a little appalled I wanted info about her vag.

Back to the drawing board. 

What I DID find was Cuchini Camel Toe Solution.

It appears to be a bicycle seat/woman cup/chicken cutlet hybrid. Yet I'm intrigued. I want to try the Cuchini and see if this is really legit. Admit it girls, how many times do you wear leggings and do a shirt check to make sure you're all covered up? Or at least, how many times do you glance down to make sure you aren't sporting the infamous camel toe? Just me? Certainly not.

(Cuchini, if you see this....I'd love to review for you!)

Everyone else---what causes came toe? Is this a bad thing? Does it mean I have a fat vagina?

When my girl, Coco Austin was recently criticized for her camel toe-her rapper turned actor hubby, Ice T calls her wardrobe malfunction a "healthy" part of her body. 

"People love to say camel toe... Ice says 'I have a nice healthy, well defined coochie.' I like that better," Coco added.

I like it better too, Coco! If I could have a booty like yours, camel toe would be the least of my concerns.

Okay, Boobie Chasers---weigh in on this serious topic. What gives you serious C.T.? How do you avoid it? Guys, is this a turn off/on. Could you care less if our vaginas eat our panties? Have a funny camel toe story? Share it. Sound off!