It finally happened. After all of these years being judgy, I may actually get to put my skills to good use. I received jury duty papers today!
I'll admit when I realized what it was, I squealed with delight. (I also breathed a sigh of relief. Because what other good news comes from the County Courthouse, right?) I've ALWAYS wanted to sit on a jury. Seriously. I know you guys think I'm bat shit cray. But I have jury shoes that I've never worn. No, really.
I envision a sensible outfit. Black pants, black jacket, and these hot shoes. I'm gonna own that courtroom!
Then I started to dwell beyond my outfit. What if I get sequestered from my family? What if this is a crime involving a child? I'll have to hear details. I'll never get it out of my head. Even worse, (if that's at all possible) what if the potential criminal and his/her family have my image committed to memory and hunt me down for revenge. (Let's be honest you guys, my boobs leave a lasting impression on people. They're a gift and a curse.)
(Sorry, Mr. Boobies...I know you loathe when I flash my boobs around the world wide web. But I'm trying to make a point here.) My boobs make me easily identifiable. Also, my Mom tells me I'm a knockout. So we're going to pretend that I'm an absolute 10 and not easily forgotten. Facts are facts. Because my Mom says so.
Now, let's get back to this whole debacle. Would I love to throw the book at a pedophile? Absolutely. I'd prefer to just fire a bullet at them, but I think if I said such a thing the prosecution would scoop me up. The defense would say pass. (Probably even if I wore the corset. It's a toss up.) What if this involves some young, punk kid who is misguided and maybe got caught with the marijuana? As my Granny would say.
But maybe it's a juicy divorce. Filled with debauchery and dark secrets? That would be bad ass and you guys know it.
So what do I do, Boobie Chasers? Do I go in and just show them Boobies? Or do I act like a total spaz-cake and pray they send me packing? What if the judge is reading this? Why am I asking so many questions? Did I mention I'm a bit paranoid and suffer from an anxiety disorder? Shouldn't that disqualify me?
Have you ever served on a jury? Do you want to? Do you want to do it for me?
Oh hey...before you leave-check out my Dirty Shirty Dirty Hoody giveaway. It's pretty sweet. I'm buying one, because I may have to go into hiding after this and a hoody hides everything. ;)
9 comments:
Love the shoes you'll be the sexiest juror ever :)) I've never had jury duty don't want it either but I registered to vote for the first time this year so I imagine it will happen....I hope the case is a good one that won't haunt you
Love the shoes you'll be the sexiest juror ever :)) I've never had jury duty don't want it either but I registered to vote for the first time this year so I imagine it will happen....I hope the case is a good one that won't haunt you
Love the shoes and corset! I will probably never sit on a jury because I work for a court, but I've seen some real bombshells on jurys before. Hope it goes well for you!
Got called for jury duty one time. It was a child sex abuse case.. I got recused due to my history.. Gee I wonder why??
One things for sure Boobies, you're definitely going to be a hot juror, if that is the word for those who sit in the jury! Hopefully you don't get too nervous about it, I mean sure there's a lot of possibilities but don't worry about it until you know the situation. I'd just throw yourself in and see how it goes, best of luck with it although I doubt that you need any luck!
I would actually love to be on a jury. Of course, knowing my luck, it would be a simple shoplifting case. I want the good ones. The ones where the jury has to talk to the media and be on 20/20, Dateline and 48 hours mystery. :)
Good luck either way.
Honestly, I'm like you; I'd LOVE to be given jury duty just because I think it would be fun. LOL
However due to my health, I can't guarantee on a day to day basis I'll be healthy enough and when you miss jury duty, they put a warrant out for your arrest!
Can you imagine officers showing up to arrest a poor, sick, wheelchair bound girl for missing jury duty!?
Anyway, I HAVE been summoned a few times, but have had to submit a doctors note to get out of it.
Boo!
I'm just like you and have always wanted to be picked for jury. I have a couple of police friends that I told to help me get put on a list somewhere! Guess what?!?! I received papers in the mail the other too! Maybe we'll both get picked for the same one!!!
~Ola
HAHAH! I love that you're excited about jury duty. I hope to God they never call me to do that shit!
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