For the last few years, A LOT of people I know both online and in real life can't wait for December---because The Elf On The Shelf gets to come visit. (I'm even throwing them a link. Despite the fact that I'm not a fan.)
Before beginning, I'm in no way trying to bad mouth you, your kids, or your shelfed elf. I keep up with your elves and their mischief every holiday season. Now I'm going to tell you why this is the dumbest concept I've ever heard of.
Reason 1- I admit I started feeling bad this year that I've never done this for The Boss. (Who is 5, almost 6 now.) You're supposed to move the elf around into various areas, letting him get into mischief. Which to me defeats the whole purpose of telling your kids to be good because Santa's watching. If you're letting your Elf write on things that aren't meant to be written on, make little messes, and the likes-how in the hell do you think your small child will not act out these Elf set examples? Bottom line. EOTS is counter productive.
Reason 2 - It's creepy as f*ck. (Threw in a little censor to keep it fam!)
Try to tell me you don't feel a Chucky vibe right now.
Reason 3 - When I showed The Boss EOTS and told him that he would come to our house and make sure he was behaving for Santa. He rolled his eyes and said "Dolls aren't real. LAME." Okay, so maybe I missed the bus because my kid is too old, or he's a genius. I'm voting the latter.
Reason 4 - The extra responsibility. I do good to get the things done that I'm obligated to do. I'm going to take my Ambien, fall asleep and forget that Mr. Elf should be unraveling toilet paper. Then my kid is really going to know the jig is up.
Reason 5 - They're $30. With $30, I can buy new NARS blush, take my kid to Chuck E. Cheese & let him play tons of games, get two hair cuts, etc. Robbery. That's what this is.
Now let's take a look at more reasons why you should NEVER allow this creepy bastard into your home.
He's a womanizer.
He's a pill popping, alcoholic. Don't your kids see enough of that at Uncle Jim's place on Christmas?
He is a thief.
Even Dad isn't safe.
Now show of hands. How many of you own this creature? Be honest! I know who you are. Let me leave you with some parting words.
Sleep tight! ;)
19 comments:
I hate that stupid Elf on a shelf.
No EOTS here. It's creepy and my two are as genius as Ev, they'd never fall for it.
Not a fan either!
But I love that pimpin' photo. Hahaaa
This looks like it could be a lot of fun. Mine would have fun seeing what he'd do next. My oldest would probably suggest things too.
Ugh. I have the little bastard -- because my jackass friends thought it would be a hysterical gift at our Christmas Party last year. NO ONE WARNED ME! I think you're doing a huge service getting the word out.
Thankfully pinterest is saving my butt this year -- otherwise he'd be riding our rocking horse all year.
I am getting a little better now that I've had some practice. Next year he "might" have an "accident" before he gets here.
(I am totally stealing these ideas thought -- especially the one with the clippers!!)
(I've missed your wit, need to stop by more often!)
Jen
I had EOTS long before it was a thing. Only ours sat in boots on the coffee table. I sent one to the 3 some to Sunday last year and gave one to my girlfriend for her little one this year. I agree the elf getting into naughtiness kind of tells the kids a thing you don't want them to do. So if it is not okay for them how is it okay for the elf who should have been on his way to tattle on them to Santa anyway..
I've never owned an elf on a shelf before but after seeing these photos, especially the one of him womanising I feel like I really want him, I mean look how badass he is, even if the wee bugger is creepy as hell and a likely cause of your future murder. I understand why you don't want him anywhere near you though Boobies, this post made me laugh so much though, probably my favourite Boobies post in a long time which is saying something!
We DO it and love it!!! Lil Duck was up searching at 5am this morning for Elfie's antics. My Elf was a gift so I didn't waste $30. It isn't any more creepy than a damn tooth fairy.
I thought it looked creepy, but was mostly deterred by the price tag. It seemed a bit much for the whole concept.
And since I can hardly remember to get the tooth fairy to visit, I'd have trouble dealing with the EOTS every night.
No EOTS here. No one under the age of 18 in this house...and we're all so warped in the brain we'd have him in pics doing far worse than drinking vodka with Babs. None would be family friendly viewing!
LMAO u know I honestly thought about doing this and then realized...that shit is WORK! eff that non sense! LOL
Ha ha we have one and we love it. Although I sometimes forget to move him so I have to haul ass upstairs before my son wakes up and move him.
My grandkids love Elvin. I guess my Nelson on FB, is my elf. Yeah, I'm just a kid at heart.
Amen Sister,
EOTS is creepy as h*ll. Those Barbies are kind of cute though.
That thing creeps me out!
You beat me to the post! I think they are creepy and ridiculous! Maybe if the Elf did things like help clean and pee IN the toilet instead of ON it?
LOL!! Love it!
I was starting to feel bad that we didn't have one of these crazy things, but not so much now that I know we are not alone! Thanks for making me feel like I am not such a bad mom after all <3
HAHAHA! Oh man, Best. Post. EVER!
You bring up some very valid points Mrs. Boobies. Especially the fact that they're creepy.
I'm NOT a doll person, so I have to totally agree with that assessment o.O
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