For the last few years, A LOT of people I know both online and in real life can't wait for December---because The Elf On The Shelf gets to come visit. (I'm even throwing them a link. Despite the fact that I'm not a fan.)
Before beginning, I'm in no way trying to bad mouth you, your kids, or your shelfed elf. I keep up with your elves and their mischief every holiday season. Now I'm going to tell you why this is the dumbest concept I've ever heard of.
Reason 1- I admit I started feeling bad this year that I've never done this for The Boss. (Who is 5, almost 6 now.) You're supposed to move the elf around into various areas, letting him get into mischief. Which to me defeats the whole purpose of telling your kids to be good because Santa's watching. If you're letting your Elf write on things that aren't meant to be written on, make little messes, and the likes-how in the hell do you think your small child will not act out these Elf set examples? Bottom line. EOTS is counter productive.
Reason 2 - It's creepy as f*ck. (Threw in a little censor to keep it fam!)
Try to tell me you don't feel a Chucky vibe right now.
Reason 3 - When I showed The Boss EOTS and told him that he would come to our house and make sure he was behaving for Santa. He rolled his eyes and said "Dolls aren't real. LAME." Okay, so maybe I missed the bus because my kid is too old, or he's a genius. I'm voting the latter.
Reason 4 - The extra responsibility. I do good to get the things done that I'm obligated to do. I'm going to take my Ambien, fall asleep and forget that Mr. Elf should be unraveling toilet paper. Then my kid is really going to know the jig is up.
Reason 5 - They're $30. With $30, I can buy new NARS blush, take my kid to Chuck E. Cheese & let him play tons of games, get two hair cuts, etc. Robbery. That's what this is.
Now let's take a look at more reasons why you should NEVER allow this creepy bastard into your home.
He's a womanizer.
He's a pill popping, alcoholic. Don't your kids see enough of that at Uncle Jim's place on Christmas?
He is a thief.
Even Dad isn't safe.
Now show of hands. How many of you own this creature? Be honest! I know who you are. Let me leave you with some parting words.
Sleep tight! ;)